SINGLE AND LOOKING?
“When you fish for love, bait with your heart, not your brain.” – Mark Twain
Life is meant to be shared. The problem is finding the right person with whom to share it with. Finding the right partner is frustrating and can be a full time job – the never ending interview. Southern California’s dating scene is feverishly competitive.
Common complaints are:
- Craig’s list is full of loosers and weirdos.
- Match.com and other internet dating seriveces are too limiting.
- Internet dating in general makes me feel cheap and takes all the romance out of the process.
- J Date never works.
- Speed dating is exhausting and emotionally too risky.
- The bar scene is hopeless.
- And of course: “all the good ones are taken.”
Many of my clients have come to therapy with the complaint that they are not meeting the right type of person and are beginning to wonder if they themselves might be the problem.
“Find the person who will love you because of your differences and not in spite of them and you have found a lover for life.” Leo Buscagalla
In counseling, I work with my clients to examine themselves and their needs. A strong confident person who knows who they are and what the want will attract others with equally high selfe-esteem.
And sometimes it’s better to look at dating from a marketing perspective.
Dating requires:
- Knowing your product: You
- What do you bring to the table?
- How are you holding yourself back?
- What are you assets and liabilities?
- How have you failed in the past, and why?
- Who is your target audience?
- Where is your target audience?
- Marketing your product: putting your best face forward.
- Managing your energy: pace yourself.
- Patience: it’s worth and wait.
- Optimism: never give up.
- Finding a a partner can be the most important decision of a person’s life. The decision should be made from a point of strength.
